Yes, eventually it is. My life? Yup, you may say that. Let’s tell about it then you will decide whatever it is. I am just a teenager, will not be after this year anymore, I am not going to die or maybe I will, anyway. I have been writing all those stupid stuff for a long time, but previously it was not that stupid unless I met a girl. This is crazy right? Ha-ha.. So though you’re still reading this. So let’s tell you one unfinished story. I was not this guy some time ago, but the day when I saw her I was like
“OH her smile,
I forgot everything for a while”
She is like the moon of my darkest night, I don’t know if it is wrong or right but something was pulling me towards her, maybe her eyes I guess whatever it was, it was the happiest feeling that I ever felt! Yes, and I don’t want it to end. So, I should fight for it or maybe her, right? I did and I am still doing that maybe I will stick with that. That is why it is unfinished I guess. But if you know me or maybe if you want to tell me anything please do tell me if I am wrong, if loving someone is wrong, if being passionately mad for someone is wrong. I can’t say her name here because maybe she is reading this and she will find this cheaper than me :p ha-ha. But I won’t replace her name because it’s the most charming thing that I find on my phone each time I try to call my ‘Mom’. I wrote something for her, one song actually, to tell her that how my heart feels for her, I don’t feel for anything because it’s all my stupid heart. I am a bit strong because every time she hurts me knowingly or unknowingly, I believe that it is just a fight and I have to win this, everything will be okay.
“I am so weak and so low,
I have to live one more afterglow,
Without your presence I’m breathing so slow.”
I don’t know actually if it was slow or not but definitely it was not right, like the way it used to feel so dazzle, that charm is always being missed without her smile, without you. I have written some songs for her but nothing is actually complete (the way it means “Happy Ending”), I believe if something does not end happily then it is not an ending, It’s just a part of the new beginning. Well that is what kept me going and loving her more and more, yes I love her more than a bee loves a flower, I am not comparing, I am just saying because when I told her about this she says to me something which was not so delightful but it is life I guess?
“It is just an infatuation,
You will get someone
Better than me.”
Or maybe she tried to tell me that she doesn’t want me to be. But is this wrong to love her after all this heartbroken type harsh answer? No right? Yeah, probably because if I wished to move on then this blog will never exist. So say thanks to her :p . But honestly I tried, I tried a lot, I tried to forget her, I tried to remove her smell from my memories but I failed like every time I did. Even how can I forget her smile, her puppy eyes and her special smiley? But everything has changed. Now she is like the lost star, sometimes I thought maybe it’s a bad dream so I tried to talk to her, we did but? But I felt that she don’t want to talk to me or like she is getting irritated with me? Maybe because it was the trick of the September? But how should I tell her that
“I love you so much and that’s true,
I will never give up on you.
Maybe you’re far away,
But I will always be there for you,
You will find me, where you left me.
Because I choose to stay.”
You know I don’t have words to explain but whatever it is, it is real and it will be stronger than before, if it is infatuation according to your thought then I am learning to love, love you more. Those days are gone, weeks are passed away but things were not getting normal as it was written the way it supposed to. Written? Well I believe life is a journey and our path is written but maybe unfinished in my case, but like the milestone her thoughts encouraged me to fill that gap or to run with her? Well, you know one secret? I keep her watching everything about what she was doing and all.. Stalking? Yes J but in a good way J I kept on believing that she will understand and will come back to me, I mean everyone deserves one second chance. I told her because I thought I will lose her and I can’t afford it or I have to regret the whole life. L Lose? Yeah she was not mine, but for me she was, she is everything and she will be, she is the most beautiful girl I have ever known. Or maybe my eyes gave up on searching, or she is the only one I want to remember and smile like an idiot thinking about her. So one fine day, actually it was midnight, her birthday! For which I planned some months ago and also she told me that time that I’ll be invited but old is not always gold, especially if it is a promise or maybe I am demanding a lot, firstly I was even afraid of wishing her, I thought maybe my wish will spoil her mood? But things went differently, a good way actually. She said “okay let’s be friends again.” I should be happy with this, I mean it was a great and sudden gift for me. Isn’t it? So we used to talk now, maybe because I love her or not but this is the most glittering periods of my daily routine, and it will never change. Even my phone loves to ring for me if the reason is her. But the thing is I am not good with long conversation because I am not that smart maybe? Who knows, sometimes I type a lot to tell her or to ask her but before sending it I just delete it, which is also unfinished right? And girls like guys who know how to flirt? I am horrible at flirting. Seriously, and I don’t want to learn too, because I am so witty and just happy with love things, what if she don’t love me? Well..!! This is an unfinished story, if she do then the story will be different. It will also begin with “Once upon a time” unless this is not just a story. It is more like
“I don’t know if I am right or wrong,
But every time you say ‘No’ it makes me more strong,
Maybe you will never be with me,
But you be happy that is all to me.”
Now I am here alone, but with a hope that maybe someday we will meet and will have the best time of my life till now, I believe in my love or maybe in my infatuation I should say. But the thing is without infatuation there is no attraction and without any attraction there is no love. So basically I love you and it is true, maybe you know it too, but I don’t know why you’re keeping yourself bounded? This is why I should bet my life to you? Whatever it is, I will fight for everything, every misery. Every painful night, and every cold night because your smile can melt everything, it is like the sun in a rainy day, so charming and long waited, maybe a sun in the darkest sky. But I don’t know for how long I will survive. Survive? Yes, why not? I mean if someone wants something for their life so passionately and they think that it is the only way they are still breathing fine then it is what it is. Right?
“I promise I won’t leave you,
I will be there with you, all because I love you,
Not just your smile and eyes but the whole you just ‘YOU’.”
So I am still counting days through my fingers, I know I will see you soon and that won’t be the last one, but the beginning. Because I know the story of my life will always be unfinished until my life has you. Just ‘YOU’.