Have you ever realized after walking up on a fine morning that the dream you dreamed last night was far better than your present life, the REALITY? Maybe you did, maybe you know the truth, and sometimes some little things can become a fucking pain in your heart rather like you can’t ever feel your veins or the blood your heart is pumping so hungrily to keep you alive, a running body, to realize that your life was a little mess? Or like to feel that fucking pain, or rather freaking pain (for kids) I am nothing but alone, sick of life or rather the negative side of the life, I was always drifted away from happiness, HOPE, whenever I saw its dawn. I know you are not reading anymore, so I thought I should tell you a secret. You know I stopped believing in God, I thought this is just a conspiracy about everything I am through, yes, I am fucking selfish, I only care about myself, I mean I care about my feelings and I cared about my unfinished love story, I know I am selfish because there are a lot of people who is less fortunate than me, but why should I care? I am not great Jesus, filled with enough love for sharing, making people less fortunate, I am normal man, or rather we all are normal in this selfish world! Eh? We all are whores, some people need more sex and some people need love, that fucking love to keep their heart beating, to keep that warmth, to keep that belief that they got the person who will be by their side unless there is a tsunami. Again god? You stole that person because they were happy? Is that a fair business? I suppose not. And now I’m writing this shit to let know the whole world that you all are selfish because you never cared about others, the third person. Or the silent lover, for some it is just a stalker! Who knocked your door, I mean your heart to open. Have you ever thought that the person you are with he is just enjoying you, in every way for that they are with you? Why he loves you? (Well, I am using him because I can’t think the way girls do, or rather I am nothing about thinking.) Maybe that third person was your true love or rather he loves you because it was only you I mean he loves you because he loves you. I am a mess about this love thing, I thought love is possible in every fucking way and in every stupid media. Like even yours stupid Facebook inbox. Well, I believe you have to be loyal, in the sense you can talk to many girls, but not the way you do with that one girl, SHE, because I believed every girl is a princess, even a whore, unless you are stupid enough to realize that. Every person is beautiful, even the person who is fighting with fucking cancer. I believed in stupid things, I waited for stupid things too, like she said “We will meet definitely after tomorrow”, but she never arrived at that coffee shop, maybe she did after I left. But she never knew that I have dreamed to dance with her, in the rain or in the moon light, because I promised her to be the sun in her every darkest night, but I guess she was always blind about this fact. But unlike others I have always trusted she is beautiful, she is beautiful than anyone can ever be, but she thought I am just pretending.
Ah! Still there? Reading my stupid blog? Well, this is not another stupid poem which you can copy and send it to her or him. This is just a messed up story, or rather a story of mine written in a messy way, still it is not hand written! You know I was always amused about the fact LOVE, I thought it would be a wonderful feeling with her, but you know something funny that she never believed me, she never trusted my words, I guess it was shaken because I was afraid of talking to the girl I loved or maybe I was bad with the ‘topic’ things or maybe because she thought I am bluffing, maybe because I was possessive about her, about the fact that every dream will not be that cherish without her or maybe I thought I can’t make it I can’t live my messed up life without her, without her voice, oh I miss her voice, the sweetness of her ‘HELLO’. I guess she was also selfish like me. You know I wrote some poems, I mean those happy one praising about a girl, all those poems I wrote keeping in mind about the fact that she will like those, for her. All gone to waste, she never liked it, I guess, she just said she liked it, never felt it. Because I am not a professional about writing, but I’ve always liked to join words, maybe I am nothing, for that reason my love story is just like a fairy tale, I mean not that lovely but not possible in real life those are just a dream which I dreamt thinking about her not by sleeping. But who cares! I thought maybe you did, but I was wrong like a lot of misunderstanding about the fact that she can be mine or I thought she is mine.
Feeling I got was always a rumour,
Things I did was just an another mistake,
The moment I believed was my dream,
The moment I fall in love was an illusion,
Because whenever I saw the happiness,
I realized it was a shattered mirror.
God I believed I realized was playing games with me,
The Life I lived was just a story for me,
I was strong, maybe I pretended,
Maybe because I thought I was her Romeo and
She is my Juliet.