If I had to write a letter for you to let you know how I feel about you, I will write it a bit lengthy maybe because I love to write or maybe because I can’t stop thinking about you and this is how I wrote it.
I never thought that you will be that one person who will become everything. I was happy before but now it is like something different, even staring at your eyes makes me happy! I feel like safe now when you breathe next to me! I know sometimes I am a pain in the ass kind of person, but I never considered myself to not to behave like an idiot kid before falling for you, because I am that kind of comfortable with you! I can talk to you even without thinking what you might think! And most importantly I can do literally any stupid stuff to make you smile!
I don’t know if words can soothe your mood or can change your mind but if it can then let me tell you one thing that I am most confident about one thing and that is you! Because I can trust you more than myself I mean how can someone doubt that innocence hidden behind your eyes? And I can literally do anything for you to make you happy, I can’t tolerate the fact of you shedding tears! You might know some horrible person who made your heart feel heavy! I know you lost expectation from people! But the most unexpected things happen when you do not expect it! Maybe I am your savior just like you are mine! Though I will never understand the pain you felt because I wasn’t there to share the sadness that was drowning you inside! But now I am here, I know that I can’t replace those memories but I can make you forget those nights when your eyes made your pillow wet! Together we can do so many new and stupid stuff that whenever I will not be around, you will laugh thinking about me and our stupid memories! I want you to miss me that way, I want to make you happy even if I am not there with you at that moment!
Maybe now you are realistic but I won’t stop making promises like a kid but also, I will keep every word, I mean if I fail then my destiny will fall apart! I can’t accept the fact that you will not be there! If someone asks me now to give one reason why I love you this much then I don’t know what should I say, I mean should I say that you gave me hope when no one was there to make me realize that I can be worth of something! Or maybe because I feel so lucky each day thinking about you! Or maybe because you are my happiness, everything you do for me it makes me happy! Maybe I am dependent on you but why shouldn’t I be? Whenever I see your face it lights up my world! Winning your heart and complete trust is the only destiny for me now! I dream about you, I dream about us and a little family each time when you’re not around or maybe when I sleep thinking about you! The first message in the morning can make my mood fly no matter what my routine is, maybe you don’t know that! Even I didn’t know that until that day you forgot to wish me! Although there are people who can give you many valid and realistic reasons to love you but for me, it will be always stupid just like my stupid heart!
No one knows what’s in tomorrow that’s why it is a mystery but I thought you like Sherlock, then why not we can solve this one together? You can be the Sherlock and I can be your Watson! I know I don’t have enough to be as good as other people but whatever I got I can give it to you without thinking it twice! I want to love you each day, each moment until the last day of my life! If there is something called afterlife stuff then be assured that I will scare the shit out of you when you will miss me because it is easier than not to love you! I mean that imperfectly perfect smile, the way you smell, the way you talk I just want to listen to you all day I hope you won’t get tired 😝 and those eyes are very dangerous to get lost into! Your touch gave me the hope that there is a future with you maybe it will not be perfect in the beginning but we will be there and I know you will never give up on me! I mean how can you say no to my breakfast and some tasty food I will make for you? How can you not like the way I sing for you with my disaster voice and how can you not love that I can’t flirt with you but I can do stuff to make you happy! Like I can literally do anything just to see you, don’t you like that? I know I sweat like a pig sometimes but you know where I keep my handkerchief!
I know sometimes I am also demanding and you have to handle every shit! Like I am fucking emotional and I can’t even control it because whenever it’s long wait after the last date I act like please love me I feel lonely! All I want is a great connection and a great communication even though we are both horrible at it, I want you to let me know if you have eaten or not so that I can lecture you! If you’re busy or not so that I can annoy you later or if you reached home or not because I care for you unlike anyone that’s why whenever we go out I make sure to walk you home or the nearest or the safest spot! I know we will do many mistakes, we will fight but even in those downs I won’t give up on us and I know you will do the same because you know how it feels and that’s how our love will grow! Maybe you’re afraid to love me now or maybe you don’t feel it that way, but I will make sure that in the end you will fall in love with me and that will end up in the marriage! I don’t know if you can trust me for now but I know you feel the way I do things for you and the way I feel for you I think that is enough for now to trust me! I am investing myself completely because you too know that I am not that guy who will treat you badly I am not that guy who will fall asleep before you on your bad days, I am not that guy who will get tired of asking what is wrong even when you don’t want to answer, I am not that guy who will get offended if you scold me, I am not that guy who will tell you to stay in shape, I am not that guy who will make you change so much that you can’t even recognize yourself because I fell in love for that imperfect person and that’s why it is so perfect for me!
I can cry for you,
I can laugh for you,
I can breathe for you,
Just like the way I will live for you,
because I died for you
the day I fall in love with you!