No Name

 

I will share a story of a man and his unconditional love! This might sound like every other story but, this is a different one and this is how it all started!

“Please hold the door for me” he shouted while staring into my eyes!

As he entered the lift I noticed he was wearing a hat and was carrying a box with a bunch of stuff, it wasn’t covered properly!

“Ground floor for you too?” I asked him while pressing the switch as he was the only one there with me.

“Yes, and thank you!” He said.

I nodded my head and that was the last thing he said as I didn’t ask him anything because he sounded kind of off!

When the door opened he kind of ran away in a rush and by which he dropped one small envelope he was carrying, I tried to call him as soon as I noticed it but there was no sign of him!

I left up the envelope and went back to my hotel. Because I was so much tired and had to catch a flight next morning!

After having my dinner when I started to pack my stuff I discovered that envelope once again which I forgot about completely! I began to search for some name or address where I can send it back then I just found a photo of a girl and some notes! So, I thought about reading it and whatever I read made my heart-felt so heavy and this is what I read that night

Page 1

My story might sound like a movie but I never understood what love is, I have always had this crazy definition about love what movies used to tell us but I never realized things have been changed because it is 21st century now! And if you find someone who stays with you no matter whatever mistakes you do is luck, and some people are so idiot or unlucky to understand that! I was diagnosed with cancer last month and maybe I will not survive my fight as I am broken inside and there is no one to hold me up and to tell me that they care for me, only hope I am getting is from my parents! Though they don’t know about my disease yet I mean I don’t have that courage to tell them I can accept the death but I can’t see them getting broken or crying a river in front of me so maybe this is my last note to the person I love the most, I am not including any dates so that my story will not be a history!

You know I never thought about love as a race like 1st or 2nd love! Only thing I have experienced is that if you love someone and anyhow they became successful by breaking your heart and every bit of your hopes and dreams you are pretty much gone and if by any chance if someone finds you in your dark and put light to your life you fall for them even more and if they break your heart again you pretty much lose every reason to live for at that point! I remember when the feeling of love was new to me I was in college and a teenager but unlike any other teenager I was kind of outdated because I used to write her poems maybe fancy flirt lines was never the cup of my tea! So, long story short she never wanted to have me in her life I was there just because she wanted someone who can give attention and poor me, like always I was making fool of myself! I have given her every bit of that special emotion people call it as love! Even after the first breakup, I gave her another chance just because she wanted to or maybe all her excuses were proven wrong by me and by my friends. But after a week or two when I realized yes because I was so dumb or maybe blind to notice that she was cheating! So, after that I removed myself from everything, I remember those times when I just locked myself into my room and just some songs! There is no shame to admit that I’m a soft person and I cried a lot, those nights were the worst part of my life! I remember how I used to cry in the shower so that anyone will not hear me out! I tried to write songs but you know if you want to move on you just have to do something which will not include the part where you have to think about her and it almost took me two years to realize that! Oh, I forgot to tell you in that time when I was enough strong to scroll social sites I met one incredible person who changed everything! But as what happens generally I was scared this time because last time I just jumped into the pool without knowing how to swim! Generally this time I was scared of falling in love once again because she is amazing and it’s hard for anyone to control that and also because for me to love someone is to invest yourself for that person, you lose everything to win them and by the part of losing; you lose yourself for that person and you expect to hold on the hope and to find the newer version of yourself which includes the other person and if you don’t get it then you are going to lose everything, your patience, your trust, every part of you!

Page 2

Facebook is a great thing only if you can find someone interesting and eventually if that person becomes everything so this is what happened with me actually but there is always some hiccups in a great story! (Every love story is great) So, she was the one to find me in the crowd and she was also the one who texted me first! I am a shy person, I remember that day when I just saw her text popping on my phone and I started to panic about what should I reply, she might think me as a desperate guy if I reply her quick, so it took me a day to send her a hello! Funny but things escalated pretty first between us, we became great friends eventually and that time I felt like she was a savior who was healing all my wounds with her alchemy! (Even she used to text me first always and nowadays I always text her or call her even when she doesn’t want to talk, things have changed.) I kept falling for her without knowing that and I was also doubting her at the same time. After a lot of talking and all; we finally met one day and when I first looked at her I remember where she was standing and she was looking so beautiful that I can’t stop staring her, I noticed when she adjusted her specs also when she tucked her hair behind her ear and I remember everything! That day I was kind of happy and excited but when I reached home every bit of enthusiasm started to vanish when a gust of thoughts hit my mind! I started to reduce the daily text and eventually, a gap was creating in between us because of my trust issues! After a long when I was out of that well of thoughts I started to think about her, I realized she is not like others and I started to miss her thinking that maybe she is the one I should be with! I have tried many times to tell her about my feelings but when I actually did she told me that she dated one guy just because she thought I don’t have any interest in her and for some other stupid reason and that gave me a huge shock and I went to the phase from where I started, I began to doubt everything of everyone! But somehow, she fixed everything just like a wizard because there is something magical about her!

Page 3

After a couple of ups and downs, we made another plan! “Let’s meet on that day” she said to me and I started to plan everything accordingly  and I also thought I would propose her finally but in the last moment she canceled and I felt really bad that time I started to consider myself as the most unwanted person in this world I cried that day because every time I came closer to someone, that person always played with my emotions and this time I was so scared to lose her from my life because I will be alone in the dark once again and maybe this time I might not recover! I said her pretty bad things in anger but from inside I was sad and felt like broken even without loving her as I thought! Days were passing by but one thought was there always in my mind, I tried to talk to many people but never felt that connection or charm with anybody else! And eventually I gave up the meeting with new people. I had a fight with my best friend and that time was the worst time for me, because I was depressed and was having anger issues! I remember how I always kept looking at her social sites and waiting for the day when she will call me once again like every other time she did! And finally, she did! I was happy just like the first time but I was rude so I wasn’t replying to her properly basically was ignoring her but she didn’t give up which hit me hard and as I told earlier there is something magical about her so there was no option for me to stay away from her! She promised me such things will never happen again and she kept it very well that way and when we met after all this I wasn’t able to hold my feelings for her so I felt for her insanely and she started to become my every part of me before realizing it! I never wanted to lose her from my life even when I doubted her in the worst scenario, so I made a decision that I will ask her to be my girlfriend so that there will be no one else who can steal her away from me!

Page 4

I remember the feeling when I hold her hand for the first time and she held mine back too! My heart felt like I was missing all this from ages! I love her silly things like the way she talks the way she behaves sometimes in a stupid way, and you have to see her while she eats, she looks ridiculously adorable! When she is around I like the way she smells, and she smells the same every time and I will never forget that sensation as long as I can breathe! You know sometimes you don’t need that much reason to fall for someone you just need a single push to love someone so deeply and for me it was a little but a big thing that is she never gave up on me when she could have! Because if she wished she can be with someone who’s better than me but she chose to keep me in her life, maybe! You know I was always afraid that I might lose her, though you might say you can’t lose someone when they don’t belong to you but sometimes you do get afraid of losing someone because you love them so much! I remember the day when she was tired of walking but she told me that walking is good for health, and some other day she was like let’s just walk, maybe because once I told her that I love to spend as much time as possible with her, so maybe that’s why she just told me to walk with her holding her hands, how can one not love this? I remember every expression of her happiness when I give her a letter or a rose or maybe some other stupid things, that always made me think that maybe I am also that one person for her who matters, maybe that’s why she never gave up on me.

Page 5

Today was a bad day for me because the whole day I was waiting for her to call me but she didn’t and also, I noticed some blood when I coughed! For the time being, I thought this is nothing so I ignored it completely! You know I have waited hours for her when we made a plan because she was late but after that wait and standing alone it was always worth it because I could see her now and I can touch her! I remember how it was like for me to wait for her every day just to receive her text as well and sometimes I thought she is either ignoring me or I am not her priority anymore! But the end of the day she always asked me how was my day or even said sorry and boy, each time my heart melted like an ice. Days were passing by so well and we were making a strong bond also making some sweet memories together! Maybe that was not made for me after all, because after a month when I visited my doctor after finding blood stain at my handkerchief I was diagnosed with cancer. For that time, I had no idea what should I do, I was crying all night holding the ring which I made for her and reading the notes which I wrote for her keeping in mind that I will ask her to marry me on her birthday! But even she says yes after knowing all these, I can’t leave her alone like this and I have no rights to waste her life for some happiness! So, I have made a decision that I will make her leave me even before my death! I started to ignore her, I mean how can I talk while sobbing?

Page 6

Days were passing by and a distance was creating between us according to my plan! I remember how I used to read our old conversation all day when she was busy in her college, I used to laugh but there were always some tears rolling out from my eyes thinking that this will be over soon! I remember when she used to text me at night when she was free but even though I was waiting for her text I had no words left but I ignored her text and cried all night thinking that I will be abandoned once again from all these happiness, I questioned God many times about his existence! When I found that person why he chose to take away from that me? I have dreamed about growing old with her I have dreamed about having a family with her, as because I have doubted her it took a hell lot of a time to get the feeling of the feeling that I love her the most! When she doubted me because even after all the ignorance I showed her, every time I behaved like a jerk and why I am in love with her now! Trust me I had no option I thought loving her completely with whatever I have got in me and maybe that will change her mind and will eventually make her fall for me too! I wonder if there is any God up there at all if so, then I would like to ask him why he gave me hope to dream once again, why he made me love her this much if I can’t get loved back! I was somehow alive back then, why you played such a bad game with me?

Page 7

We had a big fight last night at least I made it that way because this is the best way to get away from her, I know she might hate me now and she might think that whatever feeling I showed her maybe was all fake but what else options do I have? I cried while saying I should not talk to you anymore, I don’t have any emotions left for you! You know the saddest part is when there is nothing left to talk about after that and when she thought I hang up so she had thrown her phone away, I heard she broke into tears and I couldn’t do anything rather crying and killing myself slowly! That night I had already died I wonder what cancer will do to me anymore! I made a decision that I will leave the town as soon as possible. Because if we ever meet again I might fall for her again and I would tell her I am sorry even knowing the situation! So, I am leaving this note, if you ever find this I just wanted you to tell that I am sorry and I love you the most but I can’t leave you alone knowing that I can’t make it through! Do forgive me if I was selfish but I will always love you even if I become a ghost, I will be lucky star always wishing the best for you! I will regret only one thing, though, I have always wanted to be with you no matter what and I have always feared about losing you but it’s all my fate that I have lost you, I have lost my happiness and my hope, I can see that all my dreams are fading away now! Maybe you might not forgive me but I still wish to have everything I said to you, but now I don’t have time for all those dreams! I will still be in love with you like the day I told you.

Then when I thought the story is over I saw a little poem written on the back of the photo

You might think that this is over,

But the love I showed will be there forever,

Maybe for some time you’ll feel the sadness,

But for me you are the only reason for my happiness!

Maybe you may think that my love was fake,

But baby you’re the reason for every breath I take!


		
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That Girl

Part 2

I made a slight mistake, maybe because that letter thing happened on Friday and off course Saturday and Sunday are the mandatory holidays in our college routine, so that means I cannot see her neither her reaction or maybe can’t even talk to her for two days, that means I had to wait with all my anxiety!

So, on Monday I went to college as soon as possible, then I thought I can’t find her this soon so I went to the locker room to get my stuff, but when I turned back I saw her with that letter in her hand.

She handed me the letter and asked me “May I know how I got it in my math book?”

I said “Maybe it belongs to you, that’s why!”

She smiled and continued “Here is the thing, whatever you wrote and the letter is really sweet, but how can I trust you this quick? I know you might be honest with me, but I need some time, I need some time to trust you and most importantly feel you the same way, prove me that you are right whatever you wrote, then I might think about being with you. Try not to prove me wrong!”

“So you are not angry, right?” I asked her to confirm if everything is okay or not!

“Of course not! But I am scared to say yes to everything and we are not even that close as a friend!” right?

“So being a friend I can get your phone number right?” I asked her with a witty smile!

“Give me your phone!” she giggled!

After sharing number, we walked to our classroom, though we are in a different section, so we had to say goodbye! Though I managed to tell her that I will wait for her in the lobby after the college!

That day I tried hard to focus on different lectures, but every time I kept thinking about her, and when I was standing in the lobby after the college searching her face I realized that this thing never happened with me or maybe I will never wait for someone like this in my college lobby again but her! I smiled, thinking that when I will see her I will ask if she missed my silly talk or not, maybe I can ask her to drop her home, but I wondered if that will be too much or not! But when I finally saw her after an hour or so I smiled like I had to and looking into her eyes, I felt like I missed this face for a long time, maybe that was too much, but do all people think the same way when they fall in love or this is just? So keeping my weird world away, I finally moved my lips to say “hey! How was your day?”

“As usual, boring lectures and all! What about yours?” she asked me.

“Waiting to see your face! Um…. I mean waiting for this time, I mean boring lecture so you know I was waiting for it to end. That’s it! I wasn’t waiting here to see you I mean I was! Maybe!” I messed it up! I am such an idiot, shit!

Ha-ha, she laughed and said “I get it! now can we eat something because I am starving!”

So we went to the nearest MacDonald’s and ordered some cold coffee and some burgers! And took one corner table and sat facing each other. And I couldn’t resist myself from looking into her eyes and when she looked at me she smiled as she pushed her fringe back out of her eyes and asked “what? What are you looking at?”

“Oh! Nothing, just your eyes, I mean, how lovely they are! I might sound awkward, but I have never seen I mean, look at how pretty you are but on the other hand there is your eyes! I never guessed that this day can really get real like even yesterday it was a dream to sit with you and can stare at your eyes without any fear of getting caught by your eyes! I have fallen for you, I’m clueless! I don’t know what else I can do except; falling for you each time I think about you!” I can’t believe I said it all by myself!

And then I noticed how she was trying to hide herself from the blushing thing! “But you took a lot of time, I never hated you as you know!” She added.

I don’t know what will be the best answer for that moment, though I was thinking and hoping for an answer to strike my mind, but then the waiter came with our food as my savior! I thanked him before he left our table.

“So now we can finally eat something.” I tried to change the topic.

“Yes, I am starving.” She smiled.

After we finished eating our snacks, it was already a bit later than usual, so I asked her “May I can walk you home?”

She smiled and nodded her head slightly and said “That would be so nice of you.”

Though I was walking with her I remember it took only 7 minutes to reach her home, sad right? I know, I have wished her home to be a bit far from some more blocks away! Sigh!

Here is her house, in a word just beautiful! A small garden and in the entrants there were two dim lanterns which were complimenting the beauty of everything.

I opened my mouth and bang! “So, we reached?” holy lord! again? This was the dumbest line I am sure.

“Yes! So, bye Aryan, have a great night and see you soon.” She smiled and started heading towards the main door.

“Hey Anandi!” I kind of murmured that time I guess.

“Yes, what is it?” she leaned back and asked.

I went to her and I held her hand together and gave a slight kiss and said “I really had a great time today, I wish to spend more time with you each day if you can make it.”

She didn’t say anything but I noticed how she blushed, thanks to those lights. And after a pause, she said “I can’t deny it too!”

I bid her good night and went in the way of my home and I felt a happiness inside and also started feeling drifted away from her! No kidding, I can assure you this is what love feels like! Butterflies in stomach and all!

After a few days this same kind of date stuff after college was like a daily thing, and each day we came closer. Until!

And then Aryan stopped.

That Girl (To read Part 1 Click here.)

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That Girl

Part 1

That day I saw one girl, more like noticing someone for the first time with that interest, I mean I am not used to it, used to staring at someone for more than 2 seconds! Anyway, so she! I don’t even know her name but she was the one for whom I lost myself that day, said Aryan with a single breath! He is not a good storyteller as anyone will not conflict that the way how he started telling what happened with him and how he got blood-filled hands.

“Wo man! Slow down a bit!” I interrupted him and offered him a glass of water, he finished that in one sip and as he continued, I noticed his hands were shaking maybe his whole body, he took a long breath and said

“You are the one whom I’m going to tell what I was through these days.”

“What do you mean ‘these days’? Please, do not hesitate Aryan! We are best friends, remember?” I stared at him.

“Okay, I am sorry, now stop giving me that look man! Can I tell you now?” he answered with a loud pitch!

“Yes, obviously!”

(oh yes, I know Aryan from childhood, and sadly because of college we got separated but we managed to stay in contact and off course best friend. Though he is very short-tempered!)

“So this is how it get started!” He continued, “It was probably a Tuesday afternoon, as I was returning from my college, I saw someone who was walking towards me, there was a huge crowd, but I noticed her face only, she was wearing one ethnic outfit which was red in color. I noticed how her hair was waiving, I noticed how pretty her eyes are, I noticed how her lips smiled while she was talking with her friend, and I wondered how someone can be that beautiful! As I was thinking about her and she walked away and left her smell in the air which was running behind her. And someone yelled ‘Hey Anandi! Wait for me.’ So her name is Anandi!”

I noticed how he smiled when he uttered her name!

He took a quick glance at me and carried on with his proceedings. “You know what is the craziest thing I did the next day? I searched the entire locker section to find her locker and there were about five hundred lockers and among them twenty-one was labeled as Anandi! Which was a bummer for me unless there was an ID picture above the name of each locker and hopefully I can find her picture. Some students were staring at me like if I have forgotten my locker or not! But, who cares! Because for now I know her name, class and her locker obviously, which was a short achievement for me! That day I went home and thought what to do and how could I approach her and then I came out from that confusing world of thinking and finally I made a plan about writing a letter and also somehow I’ll put it into her locker.”

Aryan took out one paper from the right chest pocket of his leather jacket and handed it to me, it was yellow in color and his astonishingly beautiful hand writing. I started reading it, it was something like:

 

Dear Anandi,

I am writing this letter because I don’t have that much guts to come to you and say hello, but here I am on the other side of this letter I am telling you hello. People like me are called shy by other people, but I will like to be called as an admirer because I admire everything about you. You might not know I have noticed you many times blowing air from your mouth to put those hairs away from your forehead, but I never come to you to say you have a beautiful hair. I have seen your giggles many times, but never come by to you to say everything will stop for a while whenever you will smile. I remember when for the first time our eyes met, I will never forget those dark brown puppy eyes, but that time my eyes were clearly telling you that! Maybe you never noticed that, or me. But that is obvious, so sorry if these lines are awkward for you to read. But this is probably the only best way for me to tell you all this. Have you ever thought it that way like everything is destiny, everything we do? If yes, then it was my destiny, to fall for you. I have never seen someone like you, from that moment I have started dreaming to be with you. I would be glad to know if this letter finds you, because I am a fool for you!

          I don’t know how to end this because I know this is not the end but just the beginning!

Yours Aryan

 

I took my eyes off from the letter to look at him. But when I gazed my eyes at him then he cleared his throat and asked me “How is it?”

“I never knew that you are a romantic guy, Aryan!” my teasing will never end, I know!

 

He gave a half-smile and continued, the next day I went to the locker and made my mind that I will put it in, but as soon as I turned back I collided with her face and the disaster happened! She fell down and her notebooks as well. And I started panicking because holy lord! She is in front of me!

“I am so sorry; I didn’t see you were there standing behind me!” that’s the best I got? I asked myself and being tensed I lend my hand to help her get up.

“Not your fault, but you should not be so much in a hurry! Aryan”

What? How she knows my name! “How you know my name, I never talked to you.” I asked to clear my doubts, at this point I started freaking out!

“You are the one who owned the prize for science project last year, right?” She asked me with a smile.

“Yes, indeed! Now I know, but you remembered! But also I know that your name is Anandi and how I know will remain secret for now!” I am so stupid, shit! I murmured.

She laughed and said “No big deal Mr. Aryan, and of course someday I will reveal your secret!”

I smiled and I insisted to collect her things for her.

And being nervous I did the trick, I put my letter in her book when I was getting her notes for her! “It’s all done! Here is your books and notes, I am sorry once again!”

She smiled and said “It is all right, and thank you.”

“You’re welcome! Okay then see you soon! And take care” And I walked away waving goodbye because I was so much nervous because I thought whenever I’ll open my mouth something stupid gonna come out!

 

I can see the happiness in Aryan’s eyes, but I asked him, why you never told me about her? I mean being your best friend you are telling me know, you idiot.

“I thought this will end before its start, that is why I never disclosed this to you until now!” he sighed.

Okay, fine! Now don’t waste any more time, tell me what happened next? Read More

Page No. 365

Beep-beep! Happy New Year text from an unknown number! A quick google search told him that it is the text from the girl with whom he used to dream his future, what to do, he was thinking! He typed “Happy Ne” and he erased it he threw his phone away with anger or maybe that one text made him sad. He was sitting in a corner and some thoughts were flying through his head, suddenly he saw one diary calling him to put his hand over it he took it out from the bookshelf. Some pages are not the same the way he remembered it, it’s been a long time some letters were not readable at all but from begging to the end one thing was the same that is everything was written about her from the first page to the last he was in love with her through his journey at least the pages are the proof! With a shaky hand and wet eyes, he was reading the way he used to love her, maybe he still does, the diary was like yelling into his ears and telling see how blind you used to be, how mad you used to be but he smiled and whispered I love her no matter she stays far. He remembered their first dates and the first kiss, maybe it was awkward, but it was something magical. Suddenly all the pages of remembrance came to an end, there was a letter stapled to that page he opened it and it’s from her, apart from everything he saw only one line “We cannot be together, I loved you if you did that to then please forget me.” It was the 364th page. Then he took the pen and started to write something

Page 365: December 31, 2015

No stupid message can change the way how I feel,

I remember what you used to say,

is maybe illusion or unreal?

You will never know how I’m feeling now.

 

I put my expectation a way high,

I thought you’ll never lie,

Now you left me to cry?

After all those days you made me stubborn

To ask you why!

 

Like the dark sky have the brightest stars,

Like our love got so far,

Like the way I thought you meant “I love you.”

For a moment I thought you cared,

You have the same feelings that I have shared.

 

Like a moon our story also has scars,

Like  your lips with a beautiful smile have always lied

After all those you went so far,

I tend to forget you, at least I tried.

 

If you look at me, I will fake a smile,

I will say I am fine,

I will pretend to be happy for a while,

Look into my eyes, they are crying.

 

You make me feel like a fool,

But I can’t stop loving you,

Tell me what else I can do?

Maybe love these days are old school.

 

You are the one who broke me into pieces,

You made my heart break

Which turned my life into a mess,

Like every movie your love also ceases!

 

After all the trouble I manage to alive,

but You reminded me in every love song,

Made me feel how much was I wrong,

Because I won’t get back the time how much I strive.

Never Give Up

I don’t know where to start, or what if I start up with a wrong point and been wrong from the beginning I lose your interest? I don’t know what is this to be exactly, but I am still doing this, many of thinks that as it is that whatever I write is not perfect or you may say not even near to the word good, but I am still writing this because I love to write and I don’t get paid for it but I do it, and not for any fame as it is not good how it can be? But as the title says I didn’t just give up, I didn’t give up what I love to do! Unless if you want to regret in future then please give up everything! Give up your dream give up on the person you chose to love, as you claimed! Whatever it is, just don’t give up on your dream, you know it is hard, but as long as it is in your mind, then you can follow that dream you can live that dream! Dream big, run for it, fall for it, stand for it, but don’t lose hope from it. Start from zero and make a million of it, trust me when you will feel the success, then you will forget all your tears, all the scars will be gone with the happiness! It is a hard way to get the success, but as long as you are in it you will have it, but if it seems to be easier, then it is just an illusion which can get vanished any time with a gust. Live your life, learn from your mistake, learn to love! There will be many people to bully you, they will tell you how bad you look, how short or tall you are, or even how fat or thin you are, going to tell you how bad your hair looks but why listen to them? Why you fear that you will live your life all alone? Learn to see the good in bad not the bad into good, try to find that good soul instead of that good face try to find that person who will accept you with all your flaws and will chose to love you unconditionally, stop finding that good body so that you don’t have to fear about living alone, breaking up your heart.

Never give up on everything if it is worth for all the troubles, before letting it go, just remember all the reasons you held on for so long. Giving up is easy then holding it on just hope that it is like the other night and the morning will rise with all new hopes! Maybe it is not your time, but it would be just after some more effort, who knows just keep digging for the happiness because when you see it in your face you will forget every sleepless night, all the struggle and every misery. This may sound too much, but the world is not a fair place, you may question why you are the one to go through with all this, but to have something you have to lose something, this is the ugly truth, accept it and move on, find a reason to be happy, chase the happiness and stick with that reason forever.

when the road you’re walking seems all uphill,

when everything related to you is getting wrong and maybe it will,

when the money you have is gone, but the lend is getting high,

when you want to be happy again, but you’re about to cry,

when dreams are getting shattered and you’re losing hope,

when you’re the one who is holding the rope,

don’t you give up.

Don’t change yourself to become someone’s perfect,

Be with the one who knows that you’re imperfect.

Don’t lose hope because you’re the only one,

Who can overcome any situation.

If the light you’re following is getting low,

Don’t lose hope because you’ll succeed with another glow.

Maybe it seems like all the dreams are getting farther away,

You could have it if you planned to stay,

Maybe the wind makes you feel cold and alone,

When praying can’t help, the only thing you can do is to stay strong.

When everything seems wrong, just listen to your heart,

Don’t lose hope because to get success you have to walk all alone.

Success is just the failure turned inside out,

Those diversions of the roads are just to make you doubt.

You can’t never tell how close you are,

It may seem far, but it was always there.

So keep punching your problem with your hardest punch,

Because what it returns makes you stronger,

Do anything to light up that fire, But don’t just give up.

the Neighbor

I am the most ignored one in this earth or maybe I meant to be ignored in this way only, I’m the one who people point out and say smelly or dirty beggar and you might also add another name! Yesterday night when those footsteps faded away I was recalling those names, but suddenly I forgot the last time when I had the fresh food and the clean water, I forgot the moment when I lost everything but not the hope of the life. Maybe the meaning of comfort is different than yours, but we manage to breathe! I remember how I spend my sleepless night counting footsteps, sometime the sound gets nearer to me as a hope that someone will come near to me and will ask how I am doing! But all those sounds will fade away with those cars!

Broken people, broken heart,

Stumbling and choking, but

Still escaping from getting more hurt

Everything is broken, but not the trust!

I will make you wonder, put a gun to my head

I will still make you question about my surrender!

If god is our creator why they will give us such pain?

Will he still dare to look into our eyes?

Will they still say don’t you worry child

Because heavens got a plan for you!

If suffering from hunger is only our strength,

Then I will be strong from beginning to the end.

If you get happiness by calling me smelly or ugly,

Do that more often! At least I’m doing the charity.

I’m a human being, if you don’t like me

I will be gone by the morning,

From one street to the other,

Begging for food and some water.

Will you recognize me?

I used to be your Neighbor!

The Roads

Some people chose the road created by others or some people create their own roads or paths! Whatever you call it, it will be same. Whatever you do, you will be the one responsible for any wrong decision. But, have you ever realized that walking or choosing a wrong road or even taking a wrong bus for an unknown road will lead you to discover something new, maybe that will teach you something, maybe that is also the part of your destiny! Funny but most of us don’t think that way! Unless it is too late to realize that “what you have missed was not actually yours and what you give up on was actually yours!”

Yesterday night I was walking on an empty street,

But I was not aware where it will take me,

Somehow I managed to walk with my shaken feet.

The selfish air kept telling me that it is a cold night,

But the ignored snowflakes kept falling on me.

.

I heard some disembodied voice from the corner of the street,

I started walking fast, with a new hope that music is there.

I see a beggar now, tossing some coin in his hand,

And singing a lullaby, but I see no one around!

I asked him “Are you happy doing this all night alone?”

He replied “Happiness is in your vision my son,

It is how you see it, how you feel it.”

I understood what he was trying to say,

Maybe he knew it that I will come to him,

But I had nothing to give him so I left him alone.

.

I took leave and found a new road and some fireflies,

Maybe they were showing me new roads,

I thought lets chase them, I will follow wherever it takes!

I see the moon was hiding beneath the clouds,

But I don’t my shadow, maybe he is too tired to follow me!

But the moment I was about to sit under that old tree,

I heard some whistles running towards me,

I kept going to know the happiness behind that whistle,

I see a bird now, tired, but searching for something!

I asked him “Are you happy that you’re whistling?”

He replied with a sigh, “My son left me alone,

This is the way we used to play, maybe after hearing this

He will come back to me, maybe I am happy because

Someday I won’t be alone again.”

After telling this he flew away, maybe I will never see him again.

.

I kept walking after knowing what hope is,

But it lies with the happiness, maybe it is incomplete without it!

Wait! Is someone calling my name? But I can’t see you!

“The roads end here, come to me, I am here.”

But I see myself, are you a mirror?

“You see what you want, you want it to be.”

What do you mean? Stop playing riddles with me!

“Look into your eyes, do you see any wound?”

No!

“Because you’re seeing only your eyes,

Not the tears falling apart from it!

Screaming inside to stop it, stop hurting!

Maybe because your eyes have forgotten the sweetness of a dream,

Stop searching happiness, it is just behind you!”

How do you know all this? You’re just a mirror!

“You can’t hide yourself from you.”

What do you mean? Don’t go without telling me.

“You have miles to go, you have your heart to follow,

Don’t hold yourself, don’t stop here now, and the rest?

You need to know, you will know.”