I never realized that I will have to face this day, I am so much unaware of this sadness, or maybe this is the end of my happiness the last sign of breathing for someone, being a boy or a man I never cried, even in my saddest moment, but from yesterday I understood what it feels, even as I am writing this with tears in my eyes, but I won’t let it roll through my cheeks, I won’t let you know what I felt today when you hide your face behind that white car, or you turned your face back from my eyes! What should I do? I have never been bad with someone, nor I was trying to be bad, I always tried to be funny and make people smile and tried to get people together, but today you got this all wrong, or maybe you never realized the only fact that I am crazy, I am so much crazy for you. Oh dear god! Again? Why you’re so cruel to me? Or with my happiness? Just because I forgot to give you some bucks in return of your blessings? Tell me if I am wrong, if my love is not pure. I will forget trying for you, prove me a liar, I will quit everything for you.
So this will be my last poem, I guess! At least the last one about the fact love, I got to know, even I didn’t take your real name as you will feel like I want people’s sympathy maybe yours or even something like that, but you know. I never cared what people say about me, once my so called best friend betrayed me, what else I should care about what people say? One and only thing I ever cared this much is what you think, what you want and how you judge me. I wish you will find me or someone who will be crazier for you maybe more than me, not just only so called loyalty! What say?
Let me tell you a story then, it is about a guy who used to love a girl when he was is school, but that girl cheated him. He moved on, he completed his school, then it comes! The college, after a year of his college life he met another girl whose heart once broken, but he realized maybe he thought god just whispered, her name in his ear to love her, maybe he was a fool (Buddu). He wrote a poem that was his first love letter for a girl, for her! Maybe he thought it was for her, because remember she is the one! After some hours, after just a day, precisely it was 27th of February, he met her for the first time, he was confused what to say, what will be the best thing to say, maybe because he was not an expert with pickup lines, or the word Flirt! But they chatted for a moment and then she took a bus way to her home. Okay, so after that they used to talk very often and while talking with her, he realized that he felt for her, whenever he talked to her he just started loving her all over again, and more each time, maybe because he was crazy, even for her he changed his whole lifestyle, the way he used to be. Just to talk to her he sacrificed his sleep, he starts waiting when the clock will reach 5 in the morning, but as I told every morning he woke up at about 4am. One hour each day he waited, thinking about her and what he will say to her, but when the talking part started he forgot everything he planned, but he always said that she is beautiful, maybe because he can imagine her face anytime! Maybe because he was crazy! Anyway, now she thinks he did this for everyone, many girls, so no point of saying all this, but I am saying all this because that boy lost all his smiles, happiness and with a fake smile he cannot make fool his mother. And then it’s her birthday. She said to him, write the one best poem for her just to make everyone jealous, maybe that time she understood that his love is not that fake, so he waited at a temple for 4 hours, just to see her for some finger counts of seconds, but she never realized that he could have been dead now without her, because she became everything of his moment, his life and his future, maybe he was fool because he never realized he could not get that same love and attention if he love in that way, but she never trusted his voice, his breath. She always got some bunch of friends, who always keep saying that he is not the perfect one, because he do all this for many girls, for everyone. But he tried to convince her that it is all a plan, just to make her mind and to feel someone else love as it is real! And to take away real happiness from her. But god I have one doubt about your existence! If you really do exist, why you don’t tell her, why you don’t open her eye to see that she is the one who made him cry, who changed his life! Why god? Just because that boys luck is just like me, you can’t just snatch his happiness, after one month. Why such cruel intention? Then why you showed you such happiness? How many tests he has to pass just to prove that his love is real? You know why he is still alive? Because he thought he is also a gift of love. But what is love? Is this only sadness? And all those bullshit quotes of some happy man? He will miss those bus rides, those taxi drives together and many things specially her sweet voice, if this is the end! This will be the end of his happiness. Maybe he never understood the fact that just looking at her eyes for a long will not affect anything, maybe he never understood waiting for her will not draw any attention at her mind. But that is still there to love her, but this time secretly, away from sadness, away from fake dreams, away from bitter promises that she said “wait for me, be the perfect one for me, I will be yours forever.” But trying to be perfect he never realized he would be this mush most affected, this much insecure, this much worried for her, but all gone to fate and all happiness to tears.
Remember the first thing I ever said on each phone call?
“You are the one, the most beautiful girl.”
I never realized that love is not always Everything,
But I did each and everything just for you girl.
I never understood why you never listened to your heart,
In spite you always listened to what people say about me,
Why don’t you feel it, why don’t you see whatever I did for you?
Is there any mistake? Or any bitter full lies?
Tell me, I could do anything to make you mine.
Maybe I was close with some people, but don’t you think
What I do after falling in love with you is more important?
Now you field my heart with all your ignorance,
Maybe I am not the perfect one for you,
But have you ever realized that I have always listened
And remembered whatever you say!
Because I tried, I tried each time to be the perfect one for you.
With all my love and my care, which I only got for you.
You never trusted me, but for that don’t tell me a liar,
Tell me a looser, because I know I’m losing my world,
I trusted you more than I ever trusted myself.
The one girl for whom I imagined my future,
Maybe you are not in a mood to understand the fact
That I have always loved you and there is no impurities in it.
I will miss each and everything with all my tears,
If this is the end, I don’t know! Maybe I will be a living dead man.
“Life is about 3 days, one was yesterday, which is past, and tomorrow, not sure if you will be there with me, and today is the only day I got to live for you.”