Should I Regret?

I don’t know the fact of regretting after something you do all intentionally or maybe knowing that this may lead to something which you can’t imagine or maybe out of your illustrated dreams. Maybe it is not that much hard to forget someone who used to be the only reason of the existence of your smile, but it is real hard to forget all those times which you spend together or rather the memories. Some people don’t understand the difference between being in love and an excuse to be together! It is like you took a train ticket and you are travelling through a bus, if you can’t understand what is love. Some people love other blindly without knowing the fact “seven billion people, 14 billion faces” if you are lucky you will have that one person who will not turn their second face, with cruelty and no dignity! Because everyone has their two faces, some of them choose to stay like a real angel, real purity, because purity comes from the heart not from the face. Unlike you will be together in the night and in the very next morning you will come to know that they suddenly changed their mind, they choose to pack up from their promises or they are now willing to prove that everything they said was just a lie. If you are pure or maybe the one of your kind you will also see other people the way you are, because you see others the way you want to see them (someone told me that). You don’t always what you always lose, you do regret why you don’t lose it before. Some people are not even worth of your glance! They are not capable of understanding the fact that love do exist, broke me down I will still rise and will never say love don’t exist.

I will take that cab to ride with you,

To take you to the heavens door

As what we promised!

I will manage your hair each time

Those wild wind will try to make it worse or not!

I am not regretful, maybe your eyes was a drug to me

Or maybe the only whisky shot!

.

I never had that second feeling that you will change your mind,

Maybe because you never thought from your heart!

I have always wanted to make you happy,

I have always wanted us to be together

With every mistake I wanted to have a jump start.

Maybe what you said on your birth day you never meant that,

As much I remember you said “Wish me like the way to make everyone jealous.”

As I have always wanted to celebrate each birthday of yours,

As I have always dreamed our life is to be better than any movies

We watched together, rather I was looking at you so closely.

Now you make your face the worst when you see me,

I don’t understand! That same girl used to smile the sweetest

Whenever I was around her, now she thinks the worst!

Should I regret that I did everything to make you smile?

.

What should I regret for?

For the fact that I waited a lot just to see you?

Or I loved you the way you never imagined of?

Or rather you don’t deserve that much of attention?

Or lastly, I begged to know what my fault was,

Or should I regret that I only deserve your silly excuses?

I don’t regret that I met you, I don’t regret that it’s me.

I don’t regret what you did to me,

All I know is that I never pretended the way you used to know,

I have always shown you Love, the way I wanted you to show.

All my letters I wrote, all the hours we talked over the phone

I need an answer, to prove myself that I must not regret

For the girl I used to love, or maybe I should regret that

I still love.

“You see other the way you are.”

See You Again

It’s been a long day without you, in this lifetime, I never came to know anything like you, and I never thought there could be anything for whom everything will be changed. The best thing that happens to me. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, maybe you forgot, but once I told you that how yours weeding ring going to look like. You bring me here, I don’t know where you will leave me, but I know, like I will fall down and break myself like every rain knows it will hurt to fall down. Like I promised, I will be there. I know I am not perfect, but I wished you to accept me with all my faults because I know I will, we will make everything good, perfect. Maybe you don’t know that your smile gave that strength to fight, I will fight with anyone for you, because I know you are worth of every silly and little things I do. Wherever you go, maybe miles away or maybe half across the world, you will find me there, waiting for you to see your smile because I am not that strong to letting you go. Maybe you deserve someone who is better than me. But if I ever deserved anything truly that is you because no one can ever love you like the way I do, the best thing ever can happen to me is you. Like you told me that I am insecure, maybe I am. I was not, but maybe now, those days changed it, but it was not that enough to change the love I got for you, yes, I am insecure about losing you, I am insecure about waking up in a morning, but not capable of seeing you to smile, rather that would be the last morning I ever wished, yes I see dreams cause I pray to god every day that don’t let her go from me, the one who make me trust that god do exist! Do you remember that day? That first half movie we watched! You were happy, you were happy with me. The whole time when you were with me, I was looking at your eyes, but I saw my whole world in those beautiful eyes, how can you let you go? Everything I do is just to have you by my side, letting know that you are not going anywhere without me, maybe you will never like to see me sad, maybe I wish to see you every now and then like I used to see you, managing your hair in the breeze. I wish to be the greatest friend, the best listener to listen to your voice whatever you say, I wish to take every problem of yours, I wish to be the best lover, to love you with all my breath that I am breathing for you, I want to be the best guide, to be there with you forever, not to let you fall and to always have your back, I wish to be the most trustworthy one, who will never make you cry and will turn your first and last tear to the most beautiful pearl. I will turn every impossibilities to your smile, for you. You hurt me, broke me, I will always wait to see you again with a smile and love from my heart. Maybe it’s a short time, but I have come a long to love you like this. I wish to show you how much I love you, I wish you to know what you are to me, I wish you to know what will happen to me if you are not there to scold me, to care for me, to be possessive for me, I don’t want to let that happen either. I love you the best I have today, I know it is less than tomorrow, but it will be always much more than I loved you yesterday. And if you want to know the reason, do you really want to know? All those reasons are in with you, every time I wait to see you, my eyes search for your eyes only, in those rabble of peoples, I wish you to know how it feels after all those wait and little troubles just to see you for the fraction of seconds, to see your smile. I wish one day you will miss me the way I do, because without you 1 minute is one day to me. Would you take this ride of your life to be with me, to choose the way we will walk together, believing that we will be there with each other? And will you wish to see me again? Like I do wish to see you again, sooner than possible.

Lost Star

We all know what a lost star is, maybe it is something who has become this now for someone. Like me! Like I never realized what I am now, I never realized when you did leave me, I never realized every dream is just a new way to make me fool. Like you don’t look at me, but I am always searching for your eyes, I am the one who will always be there for you even when your shadow will choose to leave you in the dark. I will not hide in the dazzle of the sun, I will be there looking at you wishing to see you smiling just thinking about the stupid stuffs I did for you to make you smile. I wonder if you will still turn back once more just to see me, I wonder if you will be there asking to take care of your broken heart silently, but it was always unspoken! Like I always know when you are not okay, when your mood is not just alright, then I asked you, maybe in a wilful way to do this and that, maybe you never understand why I did all this! I did every little thing to make you smile, make you happy. But you always got me wrong. Maybe that is why you intended to make me a lost star. I promised that I will wait for you and will never leave you even in my darkest nightmares, then why you left me instead? Was I that worthless of your love and sympathy? I have always lied to my heart that I found the one for whom I waited this long. You don’t have to love me if you can’t pretend anymore, just take back all those times, return my love and my care, my every try, return my tears and my smile which you made. Every now and then I think about happiness and love your face come into my mind, every now and then I think about you I fall for you all over again and again and now I am enough injured that no one is still here to lend their hand to help me get on my feet. Like with those feet I wished to dance together, with you. To take the vow, I wished to write the best poem, but you are going apart, wishing you to stop. But give a light years I will wait, give me another world, I will find you and will hold your hand and will never leave you, but I want you only, to love my every flaws and my mistakes, to there to listen to my silly songs, and my guitar, I don’t want to be needing your love, I just want to be deep in your love.

It’s been said that you can’t put it in a fire,

If the candle is already melted!

Likewise with the heart! You can’t break it,

If it is already broken.

You are the only sweetness of my life,

Grab my hand, I will be there with your every wave and tide,

I will be on my knees saying that I love you,

‘Cause I never found anything like you.

I am always here waiting for you

To realize that I am the one because I need your love.

I can climb many mountains, I can cross many oceans,

Just to be with you.

Like in my first letter I wrote it for you,

I will never forget the fact that I love you,

I will always your long talks,

I will be there, and will always put your sadness away,

I love you that is all my heart wants to stay.

The Letter

To,

The princess I have ever known,

You remember what I said last time? I asked you in brittle voice, why don’t you give me another chance to prove that my love is pure and every rumours is just trying to put us separate. But you never listened to me, maybe something was wrong, but you never realized the fact that love is possible in every wrong place and in every wrong time. I have always wished to love someone with all of my heart and only wished to love me in return, love me today don’t leave me tomorrow. But things always don’t work the way it should be, I know I have fallen for you and I will never recover. But I have always trusted one theory! That is, true love is ain’t easy and easy love is ain’t true. Because I know it is you, because you complete me and I don’t want you to be leaving even though I give you reasons.

It is true that you filled my life with all maybe some of your sweetness, but for that reason I can’t even replace those times, once which I spent with you. You made all my broken pieces fixed, but don’t leave me hanging, you don’t know what possible worst misery can ever happen with me. Love is also about attraction, but the only inner attraction, because there are many who can be prettier thanyou, but for one person you are the prettiest girl like you are for me. Even though you got the scars, it will be the beauty mark because even the moon got scars but still we wait to see her. Like I wait to see you every morning after waiting the whole night, some acts not just for showing it is just for feeling, feeling the love can be in small things, letting your heart know that the love which it was waiting for finally showed up with all its charm. But you know it is a shame of being beautiful inside but not outside. So you choose the person by their inner beauty, like I thought when I saw you, when I started knowing you. That time I was away from every negative thought and never cared what people said, but somehow they are getting what they ever wanted to, but I am not the one to sacrifice everything, maybe I did many little to big sacrifices for you but I won’t sacrifice you. You are my only weakness, you are my strength, you are my reason, you are my every poem, you are my breath, your smell is the reason of my breath, maybe that glance of air kept your hand busy just because every time you managed your hair but that was one of the best moment, looking at you, a little smile on your lips, talking slowly but in a continuous way, and which made me smile. Made me a fool to love your every little thing, maybe that was not just an attraction, to believe everything you said, maybe that was a lie but I never thought second time, maybe I am that weak, but how can I be strong without you when you used to be my only strength among the throng of two faced people. Is that so much desperate to think that one person is your everything! Maybe not, that is why I thought doing every little thing will make you believe that I am the one, who will never make you cry the one who will never leave you even when your shadow will leave you. The one to love you unconditionally maybe from a distance if you don’t want me to disturb you! But what else I can do to control myself to see you, those old texts when you are not here, you are not texting, remembering those song which you sang for me hurts, remembering each thing hurts when we are not doing or trying new things. Worrying if you reached home safely when you stop caring what I still do. Maybe I am not worth of many things, yes that is obvious because everything is not meant for me, I don’t know but wish one fine morning everything will be just more than fine like it used to be, maybe this is hardest downs of my life, but I am not scared! Because from the beginning I believed that we are meant to be, you are mine. Maybe I am stupid, but I have been always sure about you, because I know that you know I can do anything to make you smile and I am yours only medicine. How can I forget your voice when it is all in my mind, you are the horror movie freak!

But yes, I told you one lie, I told you I will love you more than those fairy tales, more than those movies we watched. But I never realized I loved you more than that before realizing that this day will come. You know what hurts more? Waiting for you, that same time, thinking and imagining what you are probably doing now. Breaking promises hurts, changing yourself for someone and you can’t get back to the old life hurts, seeing you smiling, but the reason is not me hurts, being weak and your careless smile hurts. Listening to people as they never liked my smile hurts too. What could be tougher than this? Maybe you think that love is not possible, even not in this short span of time but you are dam wrong, like you are at the first time when you trusted all those lies, love is always around you, you need to find it, or rather you need to take another risk, like you took it for me, you started to trust me more than any other boys. Even the moon loves the sun most, but unfortunately they don’t meet usually, they just run one after another just to see each other but when they usually meet the whole galaxy got stunned and that is known as the Eclipse. Every flower loves the light, when they meet the flower bloom from its sleep. Every penguin gift the best stone to their partner, is that attraction too? Love is everywhere, from attraction to the tears, to the tears from the smile, from the smile to the lips, from the lips to the breath, from the breath to the heart, from the heart to the blood. It was and it will be everywhere. You just need to stop to seeing people as you are, you see them as they are. You don’t break their trust as yours is broken, you don’t play around with them as your heart got broken. Because once I promised all of my love is capable of making you fall in love all over again and again. You just need to start believing that yes I can. And I will do that because I will know that yes, you trust me.

With love,

The boy who loves you.

“Beauty lies behind the heart,

Promises hide behind going apart.”

Last Poem

I never realized that I will have to face this day, I am so much unaware of this sadness, or maybe this is the end of my happiness the last sign of breathing for someone, being a boy or a man I never cried, even in my saddest moment, but from yesterday I understood what it feels, even as I am writing this with tears in my eyes, but I won’t let it roll through my cheeks, I won’t let you know what I felt today when you hide your face behind that white car, or you turned your face back from my eyes! What should I do? I have never been bad with someone, nor I was trying to be bad, I always tried to be funny and make people smile and tried to get people together, but today you got this all wrong, or maybe you never realized the only fact that I am crazy, I am so much crazy for you. Oh dear god! Again? Why you’re so cruel to me? Or with my happiness? Just because I forgot to give you some bucks in return of your blessings? Tell me if I am wrong, if my love is not pure. I will forget trying for you, prove me a liar, I will quit everything for you.

So this will be my last poem, I guess! At least the last one about the fact love, I got to know, even I didn’t take your real name as you will feel like I want people’s sympathy maybe yours or even something like that, but you know. I never cared what people say about me, once my so called best friend betrayed me, what else I should care about what people say? One and only thing I ever cared this much is what you think, what you want and how you judge me. I wish you will find me or someone who will be crazier for you maybe more than me, not just only so called loyalty! What say?

Let me tell you a story then, it is about a guy who used to love a girl when he was is school, but that girl cheated him. He moved on, he completed his school, then it comes! The college, after a year of his college life he met another girl whose heart once broken, but he realized maybe he thought god just whispered, her name in his ear to love her, maybe he was a fool (Buddu). He wrote a poem that was his first love letter for a girl, for her! Maybe he thought it was for her, because remember she is the one! After some hours, after just a day, precisely it was 27th of February, he met her for the first time, he was confused what to say, what will be the best thing to say, maybe because he was not an expert with pickup lines, or the word Flirt! But they chatted for a moment and then she took a bus way to her home. Okay, so after that they used to talk very often and while talking with her, he realized that he felt for her, whenever he talked to her he just started loving her all over again, and more each time, maybe because he was crazy, even for her he changed his whole lifestyle, the way he used to be. Just to talk to her he sacrificed his sleep, he starts waiting when the clock will reach 5 in the morning, but as I told every morning he woke up at about 4am. One hour each day he waited, thinking about her and what he will say to her, but when the talking part started he forgot everything he planned, but he always said that she is beautiful, maybe because he can imagine her face anytime! Maybe because he was crazy! Anyway, now she thinks he did this for everyone, many girls, so no point of saying all this, but I am saying all this because that boy lost all his smiles, happiness and with a fake smile he cannot make fool his mother. And then it’s her birthday. She said to him, write the one best poem for her just to make everyone jealous, maybe that time she understood that his love is not that fake, so he waited at a temple for 4 hours, just to see her for some finger counts of seconds, but she never realized that he could have been dead now without her, because she became everything of his moment, his life and his future, maybe he was fool because he never realized he could not get that same love and attention if he love in that way, but she never trusted his voice, his breath. She always got some bunch of friends, who always keep saying that he is not the perfect one, because he do all this for many girls, for everyone. But he tried to convince her that it is all a plan, just to make her mind and to feel someone else love as it is real! And to take away real happiness from her. But god I have one doubt about your existence! If you really do exist, why you don’t tell her, why you don’t open her eye to see that she is the one who made him cry, who changed his life! Why god? Just because that boys luck is just like me, you can’t just snatch his happiness, after one month. Why such cruel intention? Then why you showed you such happiness? How many tests he has to pass just to prove that his love is real? You know why he is still alive? Because he thought he is also a gift of love. But what is love? Is this only sadness? And all those bullshit quotes of some happy man? He will miss those bus rides, those taxi drives together and many things specially her sweet voice, if this is the end! This will be the end of his happiness. Maybe he never understood the fact that just looking at her eyes for a long will not affect anything, maybe he never understood waiting for her will not draw any attention at her mind. But that is still there to love her, but this time secretly, away from sadness, away from fake dreams, away from bitter promises that she said “wait for me, be the perfect one for me, I will be yours forever.” But trying to be perfect he never realized he would be this mush most affected, this much insecure, this much worried for her, but all gone to fate and all happiness to tears.

Remember the first thing I ever said on each phone call?

“You are the one, the most beautiful girl.”

I never realized that love is not always Everything,

But I did each and everything just for you girl.

I never understood why you never listened to your heart,

In spite you always listened to what people say about me,

Why don’t you feel it, why don’t you see whatever I did for you?

Is there any mistake? Or any bitter full lies?

Tell me, I could do anything to make you mine.

Maybe I was close with some people, but don’t you think

What I do after falling in love with you is more important?

Now you field my heart with all your ignorance,

Maybe I am not the perfect one for you,

But have you ever realized that I have always listened

And remembered whatever you say!

Because I tried, I tried each time to be the perfect one for you.

With all my love and my care, which I only got for you.

You never trusted me, but for that don’t tell me a liar,

Tell me a looser, because I know I’m losing my world,

I trusted you more than I ever trusted myself.

The one girl for whom I imagined my future,

Maybe you are not in a mood to understand the fact

That I have always loved you and there is no impurities in it.

I will miss each and everything with all my tears,

If this is the end, I don’t know! Maybe I will be a living dead man.

“Life is about 3 days, one was yesterday, which is past, and tomorrow, not sure if you will be there with me, and today is the only day I got to live for you.”

Perfume

Have you ever thought that the person you love has got a perfume, a different smell? Let’s say that the person you love is the only one you really know in case your love is that true, you know she got a smell, a different perfume, which can’t be solicited to be forbidden! That smell of her skin that you breathe will know when she is around, your love, she is here with you like the way you needed, and maybe she is the most beautiful girl for you because I got mine! She is the most amazing girl I have ever wanted to know, my Bubu. Yes! I know her smell, no fancy perfume, but the smell of her skin, the smell of her beauty, the smell of love, the smell of her breath, just the smell.

I want to cradle you with all my love that I got for you, and will never let you go. Because I can’t imagine waking up, not for you. Like every time you are around, I want to gaze into your eyes, want to hold your hand, and want to run from all the miseries, no one but us, your perfume and a lot of love! Maybe it is just a dream to have you, but you know, every dream is not just a dream because it is telling us indirectly what going to happen, if you don’t stop chasing our dream, living our dream. You know one funny thing? I never had such dreams, unless I met you, or maybe you found when nobody was there to see me, why shouldn’t I love you? When I know you are my future, I mean I can only imagine it with you. Like you said, every fairytale is not just a story, such love also happen, will happen in between our soul, that true love, you will ever need to have, to feel that you are safe in my arms. Like I can wait many sleepless nights just to see you, just to let my breath know that you are with me. Someone said that,  “You meet thousands of people, and none of them really mean anything to you. And then you meet one person, and your life is changed forever.”   And yes, you changed me as well, maybe the love you got for me that changed me, and I am crazily, stupidly, passionately, dedicatedly, insanely in love with you.

Let me gaze into your eyes,

Just to let you know what you mean to me,

Let me hear your breath,

You will know what I feel for you,

Every stupid thing I do, I do it for you,

Like you are my rose, I will be the throne,

I will do anything with you, but not alone.

.

I remember the first time we met,

Like it was my first eclipse,

Maybe I was in love with the moment,

The moment you were near,

Maybe heaven got the plan for us,

Maybe I was losing my nerve,

Thought it was being cut by the paper blade.

.

I promise you to love you more than anything else,

More than you smell,

Every breath you take, There is a warmth,

Every single smile you make, I want to be the only reason,

Every time you are sad and willing to make your eyes wet,

Just remember that this idiot loves you more than anything else,

Maybe I am not the perfect as your expectation,

But I will be the best for your emotion.

.

Every time I see you,

I fall in love with you!

Every time I think about you,

I find a new reason to love you,

Can’t you see?

You belong to me.

Trust

“The god I trusted I realized was playing games with me.” Why so? Years ago I listened to everyone, they told me that if god has decided to let that happen, there must be a good reason. But I never realized what if? What if that’s a dream of the reality? Or it’s to feel good? I thought maybe like this is all just a dream, I will be happy, real happy, but for that I have to wait. But how long? I never thought this would be the longer, or rather I was always hallucinating about the fact love, or maybe I was always unknown about the fact love?

On a bright morning I saw one girl, rather the most beautiful girl I can ever imagine. But like it is now it was not before. Before? I mean when I saw her, I was happy just to have that chance, daily! After some daily days it becomes my routine, a single routine to make one excuse to see her for once. Then maybe god took a step and let that happen, love? Maybe! Whatever it was, I was so happy that I was never before. I started waiting the whole night, for the next morning, just to talk to her, I still wish to start my day with her simple “Good Morning!” text. When I talk to her I never wondered why times fly. Or maybe I never wanted this moment to end. I was the one lucky person, according to me obviously. I changed my lifestyle, life I want to be more perfect now, but now, sometimes I think is this like am I hiding my imperfection in the perfect way? Maybe I was that clever, but I was not wrong about the fact love, that hell lot a feeling for her, now she has that power, power to turn my mood, down to up! Like I was saying, I never was sure about anything but there is an inner voice that kept me saying she is the one, don’t give up now. Maybe it was the god? Who was teasing my feelings? Ah! You clever son of Jesus! I am a fool, that fool who will never leave you alone, but she never imagined that, I was that imperfect person to love her, in a perfect way or rather unconditionally. But I am happy to be that fool, I am skipping my heart beat every time I saw her managing her hair behind her ears, I am that fool to find a new way every moment just to fall for her, I am that one who was aware of the fact love. But how long? I have to suffer? God you are really clever, that you put a lot of love in my heart, but no such return in my luck. Why don’t you give up on me? As I never thought of cheating, was something wrong with my prayer? But you never heard it I guess! I was always whispering her name through my breath because I love her.

I asked her, will you wait?

She said “you wait for the person you love.”

I said nothing.

Maybe because I am a fool or maybe

I had nothing.

She was always unaware of the fact

That I love, I love her each single glance,

I love her twinkling eyes,

She was unaware, but why she is still now?

I never said nothing but some stupid things,

Maybe that’s why she never trusted,

She was a little broken a little scared,

But I am always here to lend my hand,

She never felt that I guess!

Like the perfume of her hair,

Was always with her, I love her smell.

Like the lips, you will never want to let them be together,

Because you never saw her in that way, her smile.

I was always attracted with her nose,

Told you! I am the stupid one!

Like I made many promises, like the vow of love,

But at last I will be there,

Standing, waiting for you to come,

Maybe in the road of the boulevard,

You can feel that love, you can hear my breath,

If you just start listening to your heart,

I believe your heart will never forget my name, my love

Because I will be with you always, to fill it with love.

I will be the one not to give up on you,

If you still turn your face from my shadow,

I will be there like the vigilante of love,

I will be there to protect you,

I will be there to listen to you,

Your every complain and everything,

I will be there to be your strength,

I will be there to prove wrong to everyone’s lie,

I will be there to dream about you, the future with you,

I will be there to write songs for you,

I will be there to keep you away from sobbing,

I will be there to love you no less, but more each day

Each moment I am living,

I will be there just for you,

I will be there just to love you.